"Girl, you got a gun on you?"

After speaking with Doug about the cost of continuing to live here at my apartment complex in the fall, I decided I couldn't afford it. Therefore, I've decided to take on Craigslist, and I must say, finding a great apartment is just as difficult as finding a great job.

The first house I went to see was in Ballston - a very nice, safe, neighborhood in Arlington. Loads of white people, Starbucks', and overpriced grocery stores. The rent was reasonable, and the girls seemed to have interests similar to mine. Naturally, I was 15 minutes early for my appointment, and the girls let me in to save me from the humidity. Hmmm. They were a bit...stiff? Uppity? Meh. I wasn't impressed. They all went to school together, all knew each other, and were not particularly welcoming upon meeting me. The room was decent, but with rent sky-high, I'd like to live in a place I'm completely comfortable. I need to be able to be myself, and I'm quite sure words and phrases like "twatwaffle" and "cunt punting" are 1.) not in their vocabulary and 2.) not at all appreciated. Let's just say I will not be calling them back. To be honest, if I lived there, I'm pretty sure I would cunt punt those twatwaffles.

Now, on to today's GLORIOUS find. It's a shame really. The pictures posted to Craigslist were beautiful and the girls sounded great. I woke up today hopeful and hopped on the red line to see the townhouse. Once I got off the metro, I didn't really know which direction to go, so I asked a nearby security guard. He was a tall black man with a friendly smile. When I told him the street I needed to find, his honest to God reply was: "Girl, you got a gun on you?" I swiftly replied: "No sir, I don't." To my horror: "Where you're going you might want to get one." FANTASTIC.

About 12 blocks and a few blisters later, I finally reached the street I was looking for. En route, I walked underneath a creepy bridge overpass, passed a classy Burger King, witnessed the grand opening of the neighborhood's newest grocery store aptly named "Black Supermarket," and was whistled at and ogled by countless African American "gentlemen." I was the whitest thing in sight, and I stuck out like a sore thumb. My American Eagle tank top, GAP jeans and flip flops, beaded jewelry, Longchamp purse, and iPod were doing me no favors. This was 2 in the afternoon on a Saturday and I was scared shitless walking through this neighborhood. I can't even imagine trying to walk home at night on these streets! As it turns out, a gun could be a good investment in these parts.

As for the townhouse, it was nice, perfectly acceptable, and equipped with a security system, but what's the point in having a security system when I'm going to get raped a mere 3 feet from the front entrance of my ADT-secured townhouse? No folks, this isn't practical. I'm all for mingling at the club with some dark chocolate, but I don't think I can handle being the only white person in the neighborhood. I'd take two frigid bitches from Ballston over a gang bang on New York Avenue any day.

So it's back to the drawing board for me. I've got two more showings tomorrow - one in the afternoon and one in the evening. I've got another on Monday night after work. Ha! Did you hear that?! WORK!!!