Versatile, Swirly Margaritas, Celeb Deaths, and Goodbye Stripper Hair, Hello Sexy Hair!

I've been slacking. Deepest apologies. We've got a lot to discuss people. Let's dish!

Thursday night's Kathy Griffin show was everything I thought it would be and more. Erin and I got there early. The show didn't start until 8:00 p.m., and we were near the Merriweather Post Pavilion by 6:15 p.m. Needing to kill some time, we sprung for a refined McDonald's dinner. (#2 with cheese and an iced tea, in case you were wondering.) After dinner, we got to our seats underneath the outside tent, and after sitting for a good three minutes, we decided frozen margaritas were necessary. Although they were a hefty $11, we were parched and damnit, no one comes between me and my tequila. While standing in line, we were trying to decide between a regular lime margarita and a strawberry margarita. Luckily, that choice was made for us. Here's the backstory.

As expected, the gays came out in droves to see Kathy Griffin's show. I don't know what it is about Kathy that they love, but I don't care! It was a people-watcher's haven. I mean, they were everywhere! It was awesome! Gays in plaid shorts. Gays in bright tank tops. Gays in plaid shorts AND bright tank tops. The smell of hair gel, lip gloss, and fruit cake surrounded the air. It was quite nice. You know, it's a good thing Erin and I are married on facebook. It allowed us to blend in with the gay crowd. Anyway, one gay couple was ordering margaritas in front of us. The taller one (and OBVIOUSLY the pitcher) looked less than amused at the wait time to be served. However, the shorter, far more fabulous one wearing short shorts, a tank top, and a visor with perfectly coiffed hair and sparkly peach lip gloss (the catcher, of course) turned around to greet Erin and me (Erin and I? Erin and me? I never know which is correct). He received his margarita and Erin and I exclaimed, "Oh, that looks good! Which one is that?" I swear to God, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and Allah, he replied, "Oh honey! It's a SWIRLY one!!!! It's got both lime and strawberry, and it looks fabulous!" He had not yet taken a sip, and before we had a chance to talk further, he urged us to take the straws from his cup and try it. Erin and I: "Are you sure? It's your drink, sir." To this he replied, "Oh just try it! Come on! Doesn't it look great?! You two need one. YOU NEED ONE. Look how versatile it is! It's strawberry AND lime. It's just so...so...versatile!" Indeed, it was, and Erin and I both ordered a "swirly one!" After this encounter we also resolved to find more gay friends.

As for the show, I couldn't stop laughing. Kathy discussed the Real Housewives, Jon and Kate, Paris Hilton, behind the scenes stuff from "My Life on the D-List," Oprah and Gayle, and much more. It was a full two hours, and I'd definitely go see her again. It was well worth the money!

Alrightalrightalright. Let's talk about it. What IS IT with all these celebs dying? Ed McMahon I could deal with. I mean, he's old. It was bound to happen. Farrah Fawcett finally losing her battle with cancer was tough but boy if she didn't get the wind knocked out of her sails by Michael Jackson's death. Too early for Michael Jackson jokes you say? Well, I couldn't care less what you think! Due to the fact that Michael Jackson was made of 90% plastic, he will be melted down into Legos so that kids may play with him for a change. :-) Anyway, I was getting over these deaths when my world was suddenly rocked by the death of Billy Mays. That's right, I said it. Billy Mays. WHAT THE FUCK?! Billy Mays died? I was sent over the edge. Now who is going to sell me useless shit on television at 3 in the morning? OxiClean, Orange Glo, Kaboom, Mighty Putty, the Awesome Auger, Mighty Mendit, the Quick Chop? What a great pitchman! That man could sell me cancer! Oh well, at least I still have my Magic Bullet, Express 101, and Shamwow commercials to fall back on. So yeah, Hollywood's had a rough week. I'm just sorry we couldn't have killed off Spencer and Heidi. I don't think the world would mourn too long over those two.

Friday afternoon, Ryan and I went to the grocery store and then had dinner in Ballston. Friday night, Erin and I met up with Andrea and crew in Bethesda. We went to BlackFinn and then to Union Jack's. Per usual, I attracted another African American gentleman while at Union Jack's. He whispered into my ear, and I quote, "Hey honey girl, I'm trying to experience a miracle tonight." What? I know. I can't explain it. I just go with it.

Saturday and Sunday were blah. I laid out, went down to the pool at my apartment complex and saw a girl with skin the consistency of leather. Sick. I watched Weeds, Season 4 and did more job searching/applying. Still waiting on that call back from last week's interview...

Monday afternoon, I decided I could no longer deal with my stripper hair and needed to make a hair appointment. My mom had researched hair places in Arlington and found really good reviews for Hair Gallery near the Rosslyn stop. I made the call and they had an opening for today (Tuesday). I jumped at the chance, and this afternoon I had a day at the salon! It was so nice to be pampered for a day. The salon was neat and clean, the stylists were friendly, and I received a free beverage while I waited and a relaxing scalp massage when my hair was being washed. The best part? The price! It was so reasonably priced, and they did a fabulous job. I am so excited for my new hair color! I was sick of so much blonde, so I had my hair stylist Adriana darken it to a warm, medium brown color with thin blonde highlights. It looks classy, brightens my face, and makes my skin look darker. HOW AWESOME, right? I wish YOU, yes, YOU could see it but you have yet to visit me in this fabulous city. So, work on that. :-)

Oh, speaking of visitors, one of my dearest friends from high school is going to be in the D.C. area on the 4th, and we are planning to meet up! I can't wait for the fireworks. I know the Mall will be full of tourists excited to see THE Smithsonian (come on, there's more than one people...) and little bastard children running around spilling their unnecessarily large ice creams cones with approximately 4,538 sprinkles on them on the ground but I am willing to brave it. There's nothing like seeing the fireworks from the capital of the mother fucking free world bitches!! That, and I'm hoping to see those families that use child leashes as a way to "keep an eye on their kids." Oh, how I love America!

Tomorrow's plan: grocery shopping, possibly catching some rays, dinner, and that new Johnny Depp movie with Ryan in Arlington.

Until next time, twatwaffles!